There may be ten a penny hangover remedies out there right now, but none of them are telling you to have sex. I shan’t beat about the bush. No sir. Especially not with such a well timed play on words. As long as the house grog hasn’t rendered you bathroom bound, there is a pièce de résistance to our much loved Hangover Kit that’s inspired us to create the couples version. We can’t physically put this in the kit, that would probably be illegal, but we can certainly facilitate it.
There is something so deliciously rude about the craving for morning-after sex. Because chances are, you’re probably still a little bit pissed. Traces of alcohol saunter through our blood, still muffling our self censorship and still socially lubricating something. But you are compos mentis (in a way). You are aware of the balmy body beside you, the fact that the soft morning light flatters you and that you can probably, definitely come. We are worlds apart from the unconscious tumbling of last night.
Drowsy, thirsty, perhaps a little bit pervy – this is the perfect time to reach for the electrolyte salts and call on the body’s own medicinal endorphins. Touching and kissing and getting turned starts you on that journey to the other place. And in the other place, you don’t get sick. If you’re lucky enough to have really long, intense sex, then the chemicals released are gonna be massaging the inside of your mind dude, unlocking the sickly sweet ache and leaving you on that charged, dreamy trip for the rest of the morning.
Just talking about it makes me want to grab a martini on an empty stomach. Kidding. But if you can’t get to a steam room, hangover sex is definitely the final, magic ingredient to the mythical hangover cure. We knew something was missing. That’s why we’re creating a Hangover Kit for couples; two of everything and three condoms (one to break and two’s the charm apparently). You’ll be right as rain in no time and it’ll be Bloody Mary’s all round. Thinking about it, we could probably put some of that nice organic YES lube in there too. But I’ll have to check with her upstairs.
